I checked my RSS feed this morning, and Saurian Sagacity has something about ragging the Noles…

As usual… I recommend they stick with the stats, that’s when they’re good. First of all, the guys doing that video… where did they get those Garnet & Gold pimp suits? And if they’re going to go to all of that trouble, get someone that can sing.

All I can say is:

By Bill Kristoph

Good readers of ScalpEm.com I give you my sincerest apologies. For a long time now, I’ve been touting Saurian Sagacity as the only Gator blog out there that I can stand to read with regularity. I should have known that it was only a matter of time before they went down the path of simply trashing FSU by rehashing every crappy rivalry joke in the book.

What am I talking about?

Check out the article posted by newcomer Gator KGB… Go North ’til you smell it.

With labels like Bottomfeeders, Maggots, Lowlifes and Offal, let’s just say that I’m unimpressed with their newcomer. That $ in the FSU is HIL-AR-I-OUS. You know, for the 4 billionth time we’ve seen it. Bobby Bowden is architect of free shoes and free scores. Blah, Blah, Blah. Joke Campbell Stadium, oh man my side hurts from that laugh. KGB, do you have an original thought in that reptilian brain of yours? Perhaps you do. Perhaps you don’t. Perhaps you just like the word perhaps a lot.

Sure, I should have some comebacks about the Gators. But we’ve heard them all before, and it doesn’t prove anything. What really saddens me, is that a well-written blog that pokes fun during rivalry week, but in an intelligent way, allows a degenerate post like that. What I think is unbelievable, is that a site like that, which really takes a hard look at hot topics like the BCS, or brings out the statistics behind Notre Dame’s awful season, brings out a stupid post.

Then again, maybe they’re just going for equal representation of the Gator Nation by bringing in one of those backwards, toothless friggin’ imbeciles we see in the stands each week.

So to you ScalpEm.com readers I apologize, and retract my endorsement of Saurian Sagacity as an intelligent Gator blog, at least when it comes to commentary on the Noles.

This is the kind of fan Seminoles are up against…

Hey college football fans… it’s the holiday season, and it’s time to have a giving spirit. With that in mind, and the likelihood that West Virginia will beat Pitt this weekend, I’m asking you for your COUCH DONATIONS, since after that WVU victory there will be a severe shortage of them. In fact, if you have an old crappy couch, send it up there immediately so they can use it in their festivities.

Where can you learn more? I’m guessing We Must Ignite This Couch might be a good place to start. And please remember, they’re West Virginia fans AND pyros, what else do they really have in this life?

I get it… football is a team sport… but when you’re hounded by reports about Tim Tebow’s Heisman potential, give the kid a little bit more support.  The SunSports postgame press conference was amusing, when Urban was all too happy to talk about everything but Tim-may winning a Heisman. Why not say something like, “The stats speak for themselves, or of course I think he’s had the best season.”

If Tebow really is Superman, there’s no reason to think he’d slack even if Coach Urban Meyer proclaimed him great.

Not WILL Tebow win it… but should he?

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I asked a couple of questions of the guys over at Saurian Sagacity, about the upcoming FSU / Florida game this weekend. As nice as those guys are, and as nice as their post was yesterday, I think they’ve shown their true orange and blue today in the Q & A. You gotta love Gator Homers, but what will the poor Gators do (and SEC fans for that matter) if the Noles not only beat Alabama, but the mighty Gators of Gainesville this year too?

1. Tebow, Tebow, Tebow. How does FSU best defend him?
You’re asking the wrong guys. There are assistant coaches in the SEC being paid decent sums of money that haven’t been able to figure that riddle out. On second thought perhaps the one way would be to revert to the the old Seminole form from the 90s and have your pass rushers hit him late every time they get the chance.

2. Percy Harvin… he’s had some durability questions so far in his career. What’s plan B if Harvin isn’t around to get 15 touches?
When you have a the good fortune of owning a Lamborghini you can expect it to spend some time in the shop. That’s why we keep a Corvette named Andre Caldwell in the garage. Also you can expect the crotch rocket named Brandon James to get some mileage when we aren’t riding the Escalade that is Tim Tebow.

3. Okay, so the FSU offense has been, um… rather bland again this season. Is there anything that the Gator D might lose a tiny bit of sleep over this week in regards to the FSU Offense?
The Gator defense shouldn’t be allowed any sleep. They haven’t earned it. If they were marginally better than their abysmal selves the Gators would have their ticket to Atlanta punched. The development of Preston Parker is a big worry. We can’t stop the run or the pass and Parker is likely to touch the ball in both ways.

4. What’s your score prediction? Why?
31-31. Just kidding. With these Gators I always see a high scoring affair. Teams can’t stop Tebow and our defense can’t stop anybody. 35-27, Gators.

5. Assuming a UF win over the Noles, what would you guys think of getting into a BCS at-large birth as a 3 loss team over some two loss teams, and possibly an undefeated Hawaii?
It would be great. Why not? In all seriousness, I think an undefeated Hawaii team would have a bigger beef than any 2-loss team from a pantywaist conference. But actually I think the Gators still have an outside shot at getting the SEC berth in the Sugar Bowl if LSU goes to the BCS CG, beating the Georgia Bulldogs along the way. A two-loss LSU team back-doored its way into the Sugar Bowl last year to face three-loss Notre Dame despite the fact they didn’t win their division.

Bonus: Admit it, you guys miss Ron Zook, right? ;-)
Who?

Thanks again to the guys over at Saurian Sagacity. Check out their non-Gator posts over there, there’s a lot of intelligence flying around, which basically means I’m shocked that it’s two Gators writing it. Let’s hope the boys have a safe holiday and avoid the Tasers.

Yeah Mergz and Gomez… just try to top this Stupid Gator Trick with something from FSU.

And then there’s this guy… who says to be a Gator, you just gotta live in Gainesville… are you guys trying to be like Da “U” now?

And just remember… the smarts ones ALWAYS pick FSU.

Note: Say hello to the guys from Saurian Sagacity, the only Gator blog that I can tolerate. The ScalpEm.com edition is over at their site, and it royally pained me to come up with 5 reasons why I respect UF, but I did it. I guess I’m a better man for it. All-in-all they have a really good site over there, check it out as we lead up to the game on Saturday. Tomorrow we’ll have a Q&A Swap on both sites.

5 reasons I respect you, FSU

Since it would be poor form to disregard the agreed-upon format and instead list the reasons why I hate FSU, I will list the reasons I respect you.

1. The way you stood up to those politically correct bastards at the NCAA that wanted to change your school’s nickname. Don’t those bureaucrats know that it’s a free country? It’s always been that way, at least since we stole it from the Indians.

2. Your campus is beautiful. Tallahassee has one advantage of Gainesville in the landscape department, you actually have some small hills. If Gainesville is as flat as a 10-year old girl, Tallahassee is pleasantly pubescent.

3. Despite the rarity of the event, you, unlike the Gators, have actually beaten Miami a few times in the last several meetings. If you’d had some kickers that weren’t purchased in Russia or some other country with an inferior manufacturing capability, you might have won a few more.

4. Your coach is definitely a winner, though technically not the winningest coach, and though he’s not technically at the controls anymore. I really respect the fact that Bobby comes on the set of that horrible coaches show and pretends to know the names of the players.

5. I respect the fact that the best educator in the state, my sister, received both her Bachelor and her Master from your school of education. Thank God she wasn’t interested in juggling or trapeze.

Bonus reason: I really respect how Bill made a cute spear out of ordinary characters on his keyboard. Here’s a little Gator for you.

–==L===L=<