On The Warpath: Volume 12 – Revisiting 10 Reasons Why I Hate You, SEC
Posted by William Kristoph
On a post more than two years old, I still receive comments from time to time. A user by the name of Logan actually provided a somewhat level headed rebuttal of my hate on the SEC. I’ll remind you gently though Seminole fans, we’re talking level-headed for an SEC fan. While I appreciate the attempt, I do have some questions. And after some of those questions I felt inspired. I felt tickled. I felt like I had EVEN MORE REASON TO HATE THE SEC. It’s not jealousy SEC fans, I don’t want to be in your conference. I just want to see it fail epically. Bigger than the FAILBOAT. Bigger than Lane Kiffin’s list of lies. Bigger than the spittoons installed in the stands at every SEC stadium. Actually, SECers that’s called the floor and it’s not polite to spit all over it.
A couple of items specifically for Logan:
- Who is South California? Southern California I’ve heard of though, and they have a much richer tradition of football than South Carolina. Hence, they are the real USC to me.
- I know what Geaux and Dawg are meant to be. They’re still stupid ways of spelling things. And Dawg isn’t how southerners say it. Maybe Daaaaawg. But you have to draw it out. Southern “drawl” right? For that matter we would spell Heather with a d and change the er to a “heada” up north right? Hell let’s just spl vrythng wtht vwls bcs t fn.
- My issue isn’t with Tim Tebow it’s with the ESPN / CBS love affair. I watched games not involving the Gators for four years and had to listen to them talk about Tebow. Why?
- This is not an ACC blog, it’s an FSU blog. I’m only SLIGHTLY nicer to ACC teams.
- I dunno what a Hookie is, but a Hokie is a turkey call I think? I dunno, but there are ways to find out. Gobble Gobble Gobble. Miami IS ugly. So are their uniforms. Boise State’s blue field was a genius idea by BSU. You know who’s playing and where they are playing whenever you see that field.
With all of that in mind, here are 10 MORE REASONS I CAN’T STAND THE SEC:
- Nick Saban – I realize Jimbo Fisher is from his school of thought in many ways. Don’t get me wrong either, Nick Saban is a winner. He’s brought delusional Alabama fans a national championship. I hope they enjoy it while it lasts, because I’m convinced Nick is close to declaring he’s is not leaving for another job. Never. Nope. Never Ever. Promise. Cross his heart.
- SEC on ESPN – Sure the SEC is marketable, except when the SEC on ESPN is forced down my throat on a local channel over, oh I dunno a more interesting noon game?
- Florida – ‘Nuff said.
- Crappy Out Of Conference Scheduling – Thanks to the SEC’s ways of crappy “we don’t play on the road or anybody good out of conference” scheduling tactics and the BCS, FSU’s schedule is now affected. Great, so now I get to spend an average of $45 on Southwest Louisiana School for the Blind?
- Tennessee’s Black Uniforms – FSU’s horrible black uniforms were bad enough. Now I have to look at a proliferation of them in the SEC, with Tennessee continuing to lead the way in ugly.
- S-E-C. You share your abbreviated name with a government agency. One that couldn’t detect Bernie Madoff’s ponzi scheme.
- Students at Ole Miss – Okay so not all of them are an issue. There’s just a certain group of special ones that decided it would be a brilliant idea to fly rebel flags again and start up “The South Will Rise Again” cheer. Hey morons, YOU LOST TO THE NORTH. It’s been OVER FOR YEARS. It continues to be over.
- Gymnastics teams – I only hate on this one because I’m jealous. I wish the ACC participated in women’s gymnastics.
- Because I Can – College rivalries just aren’t as fun when there is respect between teams (see FSU / Miami rivalry vs FSU and / or Miami’s feelings on UF). Sometimes it’s just fun to dislike the other conference, “just because.”
- Kentucky – Share Ashley Judd with the rest of us for crying out loud.
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