Posted by NoleCC

(OMG! OMG! OMG! We’ve got some more stolen journal entries from everyone’s favorite Coley, James Coley. These are from just after signing day!)

ZOC Entry #39 – ColeyBot looked at me at 12:01 AM on National Signing Day and said, “ALL YOUR RECRUITS ARE BELONG TO US!” No more Zero Wing for ColeyBot.

ZOC Entry #40 – I liked the WAR ROOM on NSD. The only thing that would have made it more awesome would have been ACTUAL WAR IN THE ROOM. I’m thinking GLADIATOR STYLE, where WARRIORS wrestled LIVE GATORS to the floor, while impaling an IBIS and slapping around a Tiger or two.

ZOC Entry #48 – NOLES finish with #6 Class in the country. OTHERS WOULD BE PLEASED. Me? I HAVE MORE WORK TO DO. FEAR THE SPEAR, I’m decreasing my alloted sleep time for 2010 / 2011.

ZOC Entry #51 – We have a kid named Bjoern on the team. ‘NUFF SAID SON.

ZOC Entry #58 – I feel sorry for GA that is leaking info to the media. Not because a leak is remotely ok, but because Jimbo said something about sending the “TrickettBot” after the offender. Something about that being worse than firing. This’ll be interesting.

ZOC Entry #68 – I just got a personal phone call from people claiming to be associated with the International Coffee Growers Of The Americas. They said, “We’re not happy with this National Signing Day thing being over Coach Coley. Cuban Coffee consumption is down.” I told them to not worry, after I get my sleep for the year (about 28 minutes and 33 seconds) I’ll be back out there POWERED BY CUBAN COFFEE AND OWNING THE 305 ASAP.

ZOC Entry #72 – I just got a photo of the prototype TrickettBot, if I wasn’t James Coley I’d be scared.

ZOC Entry #73 – Really, I’m not kidding about the TrickettBot.

ZOC Entry #74 – Starting work on new Tweet ideas with the ColeyBot. All it gave was bad ideas… “WE’VE got SPEAR-IT! YES WE DO” “GOLD AND GARNET – DARN IT” “DOAK AIN’T NO JOKE” Upon further research someone implanted an MP3 player looping Meatloaf’s “Paradise By The Dashboard Light.” Removal of offending song and the ColeyBot was back to spec.

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You can follow the real Coach Coley on Twitter by clicking here.

Remember this only a silly work of fiction. Think this isn’t funny? Comment. Think it is funny? Comment. And if you’re Offensive Coordinator James Coley, please don’t kill me… I kid because I’m a fan!