The Zen Of Coley: Volume 1
Posted by NoleCC
(ScalpEm.com received some exclusive and anonymous information regarding one Coach Coley. What follows is a new series, The Zen of Coley with exclusive excerpts from Offensive and Recruiting Coordinator, James Coley’s journal.)
ZOC Entry #1 – Damn I’m good. The ColeyBot is complete and allows me to be in two places at once, literally. I’ve checked the NCAA rules numerous times and it says absolutely nothing about having a genetically altered robotic clone as an aid in recruiting, coaching and life. My biggest mistake in the design of ColeyBot was running it only on Cuban Coffee. I should have chosen a cheaper fuel like good ol’ Maxwell House. I will keep that in mind for ColeyBot V2, along with laser vision and titanium fist plates just because they’re cool. Oh and I know that someday the massed will ask, “Why?” Why, Coley, James Coley, did you create the single most EXCITING INVENTION of the 21st Century?
Because it had to be done. FSU Football is headed back to the top, only then will Coley (and ColeyBot) be satisfied.
ZOC Entry #5 – ColeyBot needed a reboot today. It was responding “CUBAN COFFEE” to anything anyone said to it. The odd thing is that nobody noticed there was a problem.
ZOC Entry #9 - Took a couple of hours to see Avatar in IMAX 3-D today. The movie would have been better if the Na’vi were Garnet and Gold. Plus, what’s this junk about having to be in some sort of chamber to operate an Avatar? ColeyBot is a far superior design. It’s autonomous mostly, but I can can also TXT INSTRCTNS to it. I don’t need more than 140 characters to accomplish CHANGE! James Cameron, I have a message for you, I have the REAL DEAL BUDDY and it’s BETTER THAN YOUR LITTLE BLUE WORLD. Plus blue sucks, it’s a Gator color.
ZOC Entry #16 – A little problem with the ColeyBot today. Its Tweets on Twitter are a bit out of control, I think I programmed a bug to where the CAPS button is stuck. Stuff like “FEAR THE SPEAR – It’s OUR world SEMINOLES, time to take it BACK!!!!” or “in the HEART of the HEART of the 305!!!”
… just realized those were both of my own Tweets. Disregard issue with the ColeyBot.
ZOC Entry #23 – Signing day is approaching fast. I’m hyped. The ColeyBot is doing its part while I’m out there TAKIN WHAT THE SPEAR NEEDS in the 305. Have I mentioned how much I love Cuban Coffee? It’s so powerful, yet so refined, kinda like Stacey Dales.
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You can follow the real Coach Coley on Twitter by clicking here.
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ecwforever on 
Lpnoles86 on 
Luvunoles on 
Ok, looking hard, very hard for the humor in this. I can see why the hardcore fanbase wanted the old fuddy duddy’s out. I just don’t see Mickey or Chuck or Bobby writing drivel like this or the stupidity this clown puts on twitter. 2010 man, a new generation! BLUCK! If that is what it takes to recruit and get the attention of high school phenoms… screw it. I will just watch on Saturday and imagine they are all like Myron Rolle.
Wolf,
It’s some lighthearted fiction I wrote. FWIW, comments like that only encourage me. ;-)
I’m sure your dislike of th e Non-Bobby Administration will change when the program is winning more than 7 games per season again.
Hell, I had season tickets two coaches *before* Bobby Bowden and I see the humor in this. ColeyBot just needs an Iron Man suit. The color scheme is pretty close, but the garnet shade isn’t there yet.
Do we make War Machine Jimbo’s bot? lol
This is the single best post I’ve read online all day. Bravo, Bill! Also, ColeyBot rocks the recruiting world! (Now we need pages from Coach Gran’s Diary of Learning from the ColeyBot.)