Ten Reasons Why I Hate You, SEC
Posted by NoleCC
I’m sick of hearing about how great the Southeastern Conference is at football, or if you listen to SEC fans, how great the conference is in general. It akin to how I was sick of hearing how everything was going fine during the early years of the Jeff Bowden era, and how Bobby would fix the problems. I have my set of garnet glasses too, don’t get me wrong, but I don’t put them on until I need them, like after a beat down in the rain at the hand of Wake Forest in 2006.
But I’ve had it with you SEC fans. Maybe I’ve been hanging out at IGottaRant.com too much, with all of those Dawgs, or maybe the SEC arrogance has finally pushed me over the edge. Who knows, but here are
10 Reasons Why I Hate You, SEC:
- First of all, why are you named SEC? Southeastern is one word. Did one of those bobo-fans of yours look at a compass and decide that SE was okay because it was on the compass? Or was it because the Southern Conference was already taken? Or did you not like SC, since that might be short for Southern Cal, which has a superior history to you? (Don’t even bring up ‘Bama… I’ll get to them later).
- You have a set of fans that literally thinks it’s fun to wear merchandise that says “Cocks” on it. We love our cocks… go cocks… cocks do it better… blah blah blah. I’ll bet they wore those “Big Johnson” shirts to game back in the 90’s too. It’s sad that the rest of the teams in you have to apologize for them. They even try to call themselves USC. Guys, there is one USC and they play in the Pac-10. It’s like having a guy try to make up his own nickname, it doesn’t work.
- You don’t travel very often. SEC teams don’t play a lot of road out-of-conference games. Why? Because you’re so great? Hardly. It’s because you don’t have to return games against directional schools (see also, Big Ten Conference).
- You always have too many teams in the Top 25. Seriously, at one point 9 SEC teams were ranked in the Top 25. One of those offered up was Alabama (6-2 at the time). That’s the same Crimson Tide that lost to the 2007 edition of the Florida State Seminoles. Top 25 team? Ha ha ha.
- You spell everything funny. Maybe this is subset of #1, but really. It’s go, not geaux. It’s dog, not dawg.
- Auburn. You should have them pick a nickname already. Tigers, War Eagle, Purple People Eaters. Whatever, pick one and go with it.
- You live in the past. The major example? Alabama. Man, those fans love to talk about when Bear Bryant was coach, and how things used to be. Besides weren’t a couple of those championships like claiming a New York Times championship? I wonder if they’d claim the ScalpEm.com MNC? Now they’ve got a guy like Nick Saban coaching them. Does anyone realize they hired a garden gnome to be their head coach?
- CBS Sports and Verne Lundquist. They call SEC games right, or is it the all University of Florida channel? No knock on the Gators here, but if I was watching LSU / Alabama and had to hear about Tim Tebow every other play I’d want to slap the mouth right off that guy. It could be a 4 OT game not involving the Gators, and everyone has to hear about Tebow going up the middle with a bad shoulder for 2 yards “in other action around the SEC today.”
- General fan arrogance. Admit it SEC, you don’t like it either. You know when you’re having a down year, or when you really only have 1 great team and not 5. But your fans can’t stand to admit that the Pac-10 might be a bit better in a given year, or that the middle of the road teams from any BCS conference would give the SEC middle of the road teams good games and probably split them right down the middle.
- Ugly freaking logos and colors. Purple and Yellow? Makes me think of an Easter Egg. Construction Orange? Makes me think of Bob’s Barricades. Orange and Blue? (Okay, in reality it’s not that bad, especially if UF would go back to those sweet throwback uniforms). The eye of the tiger at midfield? Ugh. Those little smiley Gators? Horrible. Checkerboard painted end zones? Maybe the Vols can’t spell their own name, which given #5, it might be bright to keep that checkerboard.
Bring on the comments, I’m sure there will be plenty to read either way.
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Casey on 
Gurney Halleck on 
Robert on 
Mike on 
Excellent summation. Couldn’t have said it any better myself. Except that whole denigration of purple and safety orange. They’re not bad apart from each other.
Thanks Chili. ;-)
How bout the fact that they all have the same cheers. That irritates the piss out of me.
It’s Great To Be… A “insert school name here”
11. The SEC holds an 245-114-10 (.678) all-time advantage.
12. Since 1990, the SEC leads the ACC in head-to-head games with a 65-50-2 (.564) record.
You do realize that I’m not comparing the SEC to the ACC right? I’m just talking about reasons why I hate the SEC.
You missed the fact that SEC fans will completely reverse their reasoning in order to support themselves. When Stanford beats USC or when FSU beats BC, the SEC fans will say that proves how weak the Pac-10 and ACC are. However, when LSU loses to Kentucky and Auburn drops a game to Mississippi State, then all of a sudden the SEC fans say that proves how deep and talented the conference is. Seems a bit inconsistent to me.
you do realize that is the worst cop out you could possibly given. Why are you afraid to commit to being an ACC fan?
Scott,
Maybe they’re just really Zen over at the SEC? You know, what is up is down and down is up type of stuff.
Cop out? It’s not a cop out at all, my point is that you guys over at The Rant can’t see the difference between me venting about the SEC, and venting about the SEC vs. the ACC. It’s a huge difference.
All the divisions in college football suck. All their fans are idiots for supporting them. They should all get behind a real sport like curling.
Hello? Is this the dead horse?
Yes.
::thwack thwack thwack::
Don’t mind Randy, he’s a Michigan guy.
How donimant is the SEC?
So dominant that they are 5-5 against major conferences this year. (insert as much sarcasm as needed)
That record includes losses to unranked FSU, unranked South Florida, and unranked Cal. The losers in those games were Alabama, Auburn, and Tennessee. Good to know that the three teams that collectively hold 2nd place in both the SEC East and West are so good that they can’t beat unranked opponets from other conferences.
NoleCC,
Your post would likely be taken as fightin’ words at some of the places that pass for sports bars around here. Had you ended your summation with, “Oh, yeah. And, while we’re at it, Dale Earnhardt sucked,” you would probably be staring down the business end of a full scale riot.
I’ve got a few thoughts on this, but they will have to wait until later. It’s only 15 more minutes until Yabba Dabba Do time here at cube farm.
Scott,
Excellent points.
Nolelando,
I haven’t laughed that hard at a comment in a while. Dems fightin’ words in a lot of places in the south.
Wow, this is a really nitpicky list. While I agree, SEC fans can be gratingly arrogant, and they really should schedule better competition, ragging on the name of the conference, the color schemes of the teams, and Louisianans spelling of the word “go” sounds like sour grapes to me.
Also, you Noles might want to take another look at #7. This describes exactly one team in the SEC, but it also describes FSU perfectly. I don’t think I’ve been in a debate with a Nole fan in years where they didn’t mention their run in the 90s in some way. Enjoy mediocrity in the ACC.
Erich,
Hopefully (God, Buddah, Allah, Jehovah, and whoever the hell else might be reading this), we NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER have a pre-game video of Bobby Bowden speaking to the crowd like that “exactly one team in the SEC” has of Bear Bryant. Seriously. If somebody dug up Bear’s corpse tomorrow, half the population of Alabama would be lining up, with kneepads strapped on, to fluff whatever is left of his randic, decomposed love muscle.
I mean, we here at FSU love Bobby Bowden. But, fer chrissakes, we don’t LOVE Bobby Bowden.
(Next part not directed at anyone in particular, but I’ve had few brews so please excuse the crassness)
Me, personally. I don’t give a good god damn about the whole conference supremecy pissing contest. I have better things to do with my spare time than sort brass tacks with SEC homers who half whine, half brag about how any team can lose to any other team on any given Saturday in the SEC because they are so stacked from top to bottom.
You’re in the Southeastern United States. Deal. It’s a matter of simple geography that your conference, along with its respective schools, happens to be located where the greatest football talent in the nation is born and raised. You act like it’s divine providence that your conference is so great. No. Wrong. It’s dumb-ass, southern-fried Bubba Gump who wants to play for the college team he grew up rooting for. And, it’s, furthermore, dumb-ass Bubba Gump actually being able to play for said team because cock nozzles like Steve Spurrier piss and moan to get admission standards lowered at academic powerhouses like the University of South Carolina so a visor tossing bitch can compete with the rest of the “win at any cost” programs in the SEC.
That’s all it is.
The South East is ass backwards and cut throat.
Mystery solved.
Erich,
I give you credit for being the first SEC commenter to understand that I wasn’t comparing the two conferences. But, I ask what I’d be sour grapes about? That implies that I missed out on something with the SEC.
Noleando,
Damn man, I give you an edit button and I get big comments. SWEET! I believe “visor tossing bitch” was my favorite line.
1. The SEC was founded in 1932 when 13 schools left the Southern Conference to form a new one. It was abbreviated “SEC” to differentiate it from the Southern Conference (SC) which was still around at the time.
2. No complaints here.
3. Few out of region road games? Yes. Few out of conference road games? No. Florida, Georgia, and South Carolina have annual home-and-home rivalries with ACC schools FSU, Georgia Tech, and Clemson. Kentucky has the same with Louisville in the Big East.
In the past few years, Tennessee has done a home-and-home with Cal and Notre Dame, Vandy has done a home-and-home with Wake Forest and played at Michigan, LSU has done home-and-homes with VT and Arizona, Auburn has done a home-and-home with USC, Alabama has played FSU in Jacksonville, Arkansas has done home-and-homes with USC and Texas, Miss State has played at Oregon and at WVU, and Ole Miss has played at Missouri and at Texas Tech.
4. No complaints here.
5. What can I say? LSU and Georgia fans all have brain damage.
6. Auburn fans, too. Completely unoriginal complaint here, BTW.
7. Only Alabama fans live in the past, and again, unoriginal. Also, doesn’t St. Bobby love Alabama? He said he still hums the Alabama fight song all the time.
8. That’s not an SEC complaint, that’s a Gator Hater’s complaint. Which, given the source, it perfectly reasonable but again, the SEC doesn’t pay Verne, so you’ll have to take it up with CBS since Mike Slive can’t do a thing about it. Your list is now down to 9, not 10.
9. Most SEC fans really and truly don’t know when the conference is having a down year.
10. If you’ve spent time around SEC fans, you’ll know they rag on each other over these very same points. Also, those in glass houses, especially ones named “ScalpEm,” should be wary of throwing this kind of stone.
I generally agree with the list there, but I disagree with the thing about the checkerboard painted endzones. I like them. But I’d like to add to the list how Georgia fans use UGA like Uh guh. What’s going on there?
Excellent point about the UGA pronunciation, Saucy.
People like to hate the SEC and that’s fine,the SEC is the best in the land. I have seen games all over this country in different venues and you cannot beat the SEC for excitement The SEC fans are what fans should be passionate about their schools, is that so bad?
Year2, good comments all around, sorry that they got caught up in the Spam Filter for some reason!
I hate the way you talk to me. And the way you cut your hair. I hate the way you drive my car. I hate it when you stare. I hate your big dumb combat boots And the way you read my mind. I hate you so much it makes me sick — It even makes me rhyme. I hate the way you’re always right. I hate it when you lie. I hate it when you make me laugh — Even worse when you make me cry. I hate it that you’re not around. And the fact that you didn’t call. But mostly I hate the way I don’t hate you — Not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all.~
Kat Stratford Quote from the movie 10 Things I Hate About You
What’s that comment aboot?
Good quote, but you can scratch those last couple of lines… I still hate the SEC. ;-)
If you’re talking about the school, you spell out U-G-A (UGA). If you’re talking about the live canine mascot, it’s pronounced UhGuh (Uga).
Like the old ball coach once said,”once your enemies stop talking about you, it pretty much says your team is horrible”! KIND OF LIKE THE ENTIRE ACC THIS YEAR. GOOD LUCK YOU CHUMPS I WILL BE IN TALLY THIS YEAR WATCHING THE GATORZILLAS GIVE FSU PROBABLY THEIR 5th or 6th loss. YOUR DYNASTY AND YOUR CONFERENCE IS OVER WITH! SEC-SEC-SEC-SEC!
I think that comment shows exactly why I’m happy that I didn’t go to UF.
Don’t forget # 11… The GATORS have a shark theme (jaws) for their music
orange and blue are horrible colors…just ask the hardware store that donated the paint supplies to the university because they were completely unpopular and wouldn’t sell. yes, that’s a true story.
o.k. that is a funny list dat – in a way its true but we SEC fans love our foozball we love it fast we love it hard nose – we dont like Finess football ” USC – FSU ” oh poor USC we didnt get the fair vote we should be in a tittle game – WRONG if they let you play in a tittle game it wont be against an SEC team for the fear of the respect that will be lost for ” THE GREATEST CONFERENCE ” as Carseux puts dat – but USC is the one of the teams that are not for our so wanted playoff bracket why is dat? why when the sec wins the BCS everyone hates on us even more ? jelousy? i tink so dat – All tell you one ting dat – this list should be why does the rest of the confrences suck
For realz yo. :)
I completely agree with point number 9.
Even when the SEC is top heavy they won’t admit that a conference like the Big 12 in a good year could outshine them.
The point about the SEC middle and bottom tier teams typically not being better than those same level of teams in other BCS conferences is another excellent point.
FSU is a dumpster fire, nuff said
UGA is for University of Georgia-Athens.
I’m a Michigan fan who lives in Georgia. It gets pretty old listening to SEC arrogance. Having said that, I think this list is pretty ridiculous. Colors, nicknames? How about a legitimate complaint like what Scott said about SEC fans reversing their logic? USC loses to Washington and “they were so overrated,” but Georgia loses to South Carolina and “look at that SEC depth.” Give me a break.
You are an idiot